POs Son

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Posts by POs Son

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  82

  Name Things You Can Get Counseled,Reproved or Disfellowshipped For

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since the jw religion is sooooo restrictive, it is good to think about just how wacky this cult is.....for example, you can get counseled for buying a 2 door car as opposed to a "pioneer" car (4 door).

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  POs Son

  Min,

  How dare you wear a tee shirt on a construction site. Don't you know you have to dress up to eat at the No-Frills Kitchen?

  POs Son
• 
  82

  Name Things You Can Get Counseled,Reproved or Disfellowshipped For

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since the jw religion is sooooo restrictive, it is good to think about just how wacky this cult is.....for example, you can get counseled for buying a 2 door car as opposed to a "pioneer" car (4 door).

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  POs Son

  Posting on, looking at, thinking about, talking about and accidentally passing thru this website.
• 
  6

  Catch Phrases and Buzz Words - Your Easter Holiday Homework

  by POs Son in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is your vocabulary lesson for this week: come up with as many jw catch phrases and buzz words, then use them in a sentance.

  consider this your homework assignment over the easter holiday.

  i'll start.

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  POs Son

  Presiding Overseer=Grand Poobah

  Basically the lead minister, usually the President of the legal corporation of each congregation. Leads everything. See my screen name.... I recall it all.
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  6

  Catch Phrases and Buzz Words - Your Easter Holiday Homework

  by POs Son in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is your vocabulary lesson for this week: come up with as many jw catch phrases and buzz words, then use them in a sentance.

  consider this your homework assignment over the easter holiday.

  i'll start.

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  POs Son

  This is your vocabulary lesson for this week: Come up with as many JW catch phrases and buzz words, then use them in a sentance. Consider this your homework assignment over the Easter Holiday. I'll start.

  1. Faithful and Discreet Slave ("The F.D.S. reccomends that we add a sixth meeting each week, as Jeehover has directed us")
  2. Bethel ("My son is in Bethel, I am one step from being Anointed")
  3. Disfellowship ("I accidentally enjoyed myself in the shower last night. I should stop bathing so as not to be disfellowshipped")
  4. Reach out ("Brother Suckup seems to be reaching out for a position of responsibility. He has cleaned the urinals twice today.")

  5. Privileges ("Brother Suckup now has the privelege of cleaning the sink and toilet, also.")

  6. Attendant ("Excuse me, You may not save two seats with your briefbag, see here, my name tag says I am an attendant.")

  7. Circuit Overseer ("Brothers, the circuit overseer will visit next week. Please bring your family so we dont get yelled at for poor attendance.")

  8. District Overseer ("Our keynote address will be read given by Brother X, the District Overseer. It is entitled, 'Using the Amway approach to recruiting members'".)

  9. Presiding Overseer ("Who do you think you are talking to? I am the Presiding Overseer's wife, I am closer to being annointed than you.")

  10. Worldwide Work ("What better use could there be for your college funds than to contribute to the Worldwide Work?")

  11. _____ Book (fill in your favorite color) "Honey, get the green book, it will keep the table from wobbling.")

  12. Field Service ("Hey, Billy, guess what? If you skip field service, there are three channels of cartoons on TV on Saturday morning.")

  13. Pioneer ("When I applied for that new job, they wondered what 'Pioneer - 15 years' meant. I didn't get the job.")

  14. Roving Microphone ("Maybe after two or three years of cleaning the bathrooms, you can reach out for the privelege of handling the roving mic." - Haaa, the trifecta! 3 vocab words in one sentance!)

  15. Sound ("Brother Sanyo is working sound on Sunday, he must suck up to the elders")

  Ok, students, lets practice our vocabulary. This will be 10% of your grade for the semester.
• 
  19

  bought an outfit for the memorial

  by fairchild in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i bought a new skirt and sweater to wear to the memorial tonight.

  earlier, i saw a thread on here about 'irony', well, let me add this.

  i bought my skirt and sweater at a church sale this morning.

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  POs Son

  I thought about bringing my old Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox and thermos. I am not sure if it would match my outfit... but what the heck?

  
• 
  40

  "Organized to do Jehova's Will" Book contents

  by DaCheech in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first page... this book issued to________________ date___________ place of baptism____________ date___________.

  contents:.

  1. organanized to do jehovahs will.

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  POs Son

  When do you suppose they will announce the reissue of the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures? Perhaps some new light, like some revealing translation errors, showing that the Greek word for orginization translates directly to "25 Columbia Heights", or maybe omiting the name Jesus entirely? Maybe the new new bible will have a fourth holy entity, Jehovah, his Son, Jesus, his active force the Holy Spirt, and his favorite printing company, WTBTS?

  Ha
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  4

  YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 WHEN...

  by target in

  1. social
  2. humour

  you know you are living in 2005 when.... .

  1) you accidentally enter your password on the microwave.. .

  2) you have not played solitaire with real cards in years.. .

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  POs Son

  LOL @ disciple

  Maybe the internet is the King of the North?

  Perhaps, based on your non-prophecy that The End (of this year) is surely coming, I should consider quitting my job, racking up my credit cards and selling off my house to by Watchtower publications?

  Ha!
• 
  27

  JW Bible Character Hand Puppets on Ebay!

  by Voyager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if jws have got to go to these extremes for their kids to stay interested in their studies, perhaps some real examination of what they are studying is needed!

  nothing about jws surprises me anymore!

  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?viewitem&category=16710&item=5557715913&rd=1&tc=photo .

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  POs Son

  New from Bags for Dubs!

  "My Book of Bible Stories Book Cover" - This beautiful leather cover will make your book last for years. It has a conveninet pocket on the back for tissues, to wipe tears from the child's eyes when he his scared by the images of armageddon. $7.95

  We have received several requests from the sisters for a diaper bag capable of double duty as a field service sack. Friends, how should we view the spiritual food proided by the loving Governing Body through their valuable publications. Ought we consider them more valuable than stinky refuse filled diapers? "For when we were babes, we ate baby food,..." We should respect the value of our spiritual food and never mix it with our baby food.

  -your brothers at BFD.
• 
  69

  SIGNS NEVER SEEN ON THE KINGDOM HALL BULLETIN BOARD.

  by TresHappy in

  1. social
  2. humour

  jehovah's witness blood drive...

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  POs Son

  AA meeting. Wednesday at 7 PM.

  Weight Watchers meeting Wednesday at 8 PM

  Tag Sale on Saturday, 9 AM

  Coffee and Donuts after Watchtower on Sunday, 12:15 PM in the library.

  On a similar topic, they should have another board next to the dis-Information Board, it should be the New Light Board, where the new rules gifts of directionfrom Brooklyn God are posted.
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  27

  JW Bible Character Hand Puppets on Ebay!

  by Voyager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if jws have got to go to these extremes for their kids to stay interested in their studies, perhaps some real examination of what they are studying is needed!

  nothing about jws surprises me anymore!

  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?viewitem&category=16710&item=5557715913&rd=1&tc=photo .

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  POs Son

  I can just see the next JW sales site -

  Briefcases and Meeting Bags

  "The Publisher" - A slimline nylon brief bag designed for the new publisher in mind. This bag will hold several magazines with which you can solicit donations to support more printing of more magazines for you to sell. An ample sized pocket on the inside of this bag can hold all that donation money and prevent you from spending it on coffee break or cigarettes. - $24.95

  "The Pioneer" - This leatherette bag will carry enough tracts to leave in place of tips for a whole week of coffee breaks. Never agian will you have to leave a lousy 20% for the table service, now you can leave 'lifesaving biblical doctrine' instead. This bag has a special pocket to keep all your return visit notes and even a clear ID window to hold your montly field service record. Note: Please use caution when placing any literature in this bag that has not been published by WTBTS. This bag contains a special Aposta-Meter that will incinerate any apostate materials to protect you from any worldly input. - $35.95

  "The Ministerial Servant" - This stylish briefcase has room for all your meeting necesities including Watchtower, KM, Daily Text, and a pair of knee pads. You might be able to squeeze in a bible too! It has 2-inch reflective tape on each end to prevent the roving microphone carrier from tripping on the bag when errantly placed at the end of the row. Your new bag can be monogramed with your initials or the date you were promoted to your current position of service or "privelege". $45.99 add $3.00 for monogram.

  "The Elder" - When you are an elder, you deserve the best. Even Paul said in 1 Tim 5:17 said that Elders deserve a 'double honor'. This 100% leather salesman style case has wheels and a handle suitlble for rolling. Your important books will will never travel in more style, even visitors will be able to see that you are important when you enter the Hall with this case in tow! We have crafted this case with room for all your books, the TM School schedule, the Accounts report, the latest gossip journal, and even the notes from your last Judicial Committee Hearing (we will include an envelope flap moistenenr if you order today). This case has a special locking section for your to store your copy of "Pay Attention..." so it is always available to prevent you from making any costly mistakes. When you order your "Elder Case" you are ordering the best! - $199.99

  Special Gifts

  "The Combo Bible" - We can custom bind your bible to any WTBTS literature so it is handy whenever you are preaching. Be ready to answer those tough bible questions with the official WT reply - you can never go wrong when you skip the bible and go straight to the WT authority. Just order a new, unmarked bible and your choice of authorized WT text, sned them in and we will bind them together. Prices vary based on the amount of material you wish to add to your bible. (Rev. 12:18) (Click for link)

  "The Modular-Combo Bible" - Similar to the bible binding gift above, this service includes a special Velcro section for you to remove WT publications and replace them when "New Light" comes to the Brooklyn Seven, and old rules become new rules. This will help you to keep current with the WT teachings. $14.99 Add $4 for the removable bible sections, allowing you top remove entire sections of the bible you do not wish to use.

  Order Today!